Well Well. Another week is upon us. I can't beleive I have been at this for Six weeks now. Sheesh. Seems like forever some days and others its like 2 days maybe. its FLYING by. So last week was an exciting week.
Lots happening and when i say exciting I do not mean great, I mean just that- exciting.
SInce starting this crazy journey my wife's car has been in the shop, my car is going in the shop, many extra expenses have come our way, sick kids, etc etc. Now my wonderful wife Ashley is having medical tests and my youngest daugher experienced a very painful hernia at the "should not be having hernias age" of only a year and half. OUCH!!!
Suffering.
Paul talks of suffering for the gospel in many of his letters to the church. Many Christians would have you think that to join Christ in his mission is to become healthy, wealthy and worry free. You will live like a pimp enjoying your riches while the goddless world stays at bay. You will have no concerns, troubles or hard times. Jesus makes it all better right? Well according to Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament, and according to my own personal experience, when you have set out to truely follow after Jesus and the things of heaven Satan shows up and Hell breaks loose.
God is concerned about his people.
The Bible says he even disciplines those he loves. The devil may send much upon man but it is nothing that God has not allowed. Sobering thoughts. Jesus allows the effects of sin to enter my life and the lives of those i love. God permits suffering for the purpose of building us up in reliance of him and the pursuit of righteousness.
As i drove home from the hospital thinking about my little girl and my wife and all the concerns pushing in on my world I'll admitt, I was frustrated. I was tempted to ask "why?". Why if we are doing his will, planting a church and seeking to serve and save the lost would Jesus be ok with all this, even allow it? But a funny thing happened. Just as quickly as i begin to think upon all that was "wrong" the Spirit reminded me of this...Why? Because He Loves me. Because Jesus is in control even in the rough times. Because his glory comes before my comfort. Because he is sovereign in my joy and in my pain. Jesus desires our total commitment and obediance. Not some or part or what we dont like, but ALL. He will ask us to give up everything in the way of worshipping and serving him. He will cause us to lean so far into his divinty that we in our humanity can no longer stand upon our own feet. Jesus LOVES US so much that he will allow us to be tempted and to suffer and to be wronged for the express purpose of teaching us about his grace, his mercy and his control. "You are not God" he reminds us.
I should want for God to remove all these things (and i do) but i could also learn to suffer. I should learn to loose myself. I should be willing to take my child up the mountain of sacrifice. I should find peace beyond all understanding and perseverence in all things. In these moments I can truely understand, wholey worship and faithfully reveal the Mystery which is Jesus Christ. I can related to both his suffering sacrifice as well as the plites of man. I can accurately portray what it is to live as Christ and to gain in death.
May you learn to suffer well. And may you lean into Jesus and find Joy.
Grace and Peace
-Steev
p.s. As an update, my wife is doing well and we are debating our next steps, My daughter will be having surgery this week to repair her insides oh and my truck's check engine light went off! SWEET!
